Most Maturing

An Invitation to Serve, Priscillia Bui, Mission Year

If I was placed at the school to serve, why was my ability to find joy in serving others tied to the type of work that I was doing? I realized that in serving the staff and students at the school, it did not matter the type of work that I was doing, but rather, with what type of heart I was serving with. I saw how much I was trying to make the service about myself and what I could do, rather than about those I was serving. I could do my work with a bitter and resentful heart or try to find joy in simply serving others. It was then that God revealed to me that the heart of service is simple – to serve others wholeheartedly and with joy, regardless of what the task may be…And so my question for you is, wherever you may be and whatever you may be doing, whether it is something you love or hate, what is God inviting you to and how is He inviting you to love those around you?

Question of the Week

Watching HBO R-Rated Movies, Jon Acuff

A few months ago, my friend asked me a question, “How come we Christians get upset about the nudity in the show ‘Game of Thrones,’ but not at the violence?”

 

Listening to Bianca

Various talks by Bianca Olthoff

“The outcome of fasting is to recalibrate the heart and mind.”

“Forgiveness is to embrace the wound someone has given you…willingness to suffer discomfort for the heart of Jesus.”

They’ve Got an App for that!

10 Mobile Apps, No Make That 49, That Make Our Day, Lee Odden, Online Marketing Blog

Experts have stated that the average person has 40 apps on their mobile device, but regulary use only 4-5 of them.  So, add a few more from this list!  A few new ones for me:

·        Vine

·        Timehop

·        Grocery IQ

·        Paper

Top 300 Christian Blogs for Ministry

Churchrelevance.com

I love finding interesting reads. I particularly am interested in spiritual growth, ministry, church digital strategy, reconciliation, and discovering what’s cool and fascinating. That’s why I was thrilled to see Church Relevance magazine unveil their “Revamped Top Church Blogs List”. Patheos and representation are what resonate with me after going through this list.

1.      300 is A LOT.  I used up four lunch breaks to be able to look at them all.

2.      Patheos sure offers lots of content, with many Catholic, Evangelical, and Progressive Christian blogs making the list.  Seems like a good resource.

3.      If you like Justin Timberlake, go to Patheos.  The paid ads section on the right-hand side serve up plenty of JT videos from his Mickey Mouse Club days until now.  Dance on!

4.      As far as I can tell, 51% of the writers making the list were men, 20% women, and 29% various.

5.      Do the ladies feel represented?  20% is probably high compared to most Christian conferences and events.  Rachel Held Evans offers her list of women writers in response to another list.

6.      And while we’re on that, how about people of color?  5%. Low, but probably comparatively high.  Between Worlds offers her list of culturally diverse Christian writers.

7.      I wish my affilitation (churches of Christ) had more of a presence in mainstream Christiandom. We tend to keep our voices away from many conversations and conferences.  There may be reasons for that, but not here, not today.  I feel we have a lot to offer and can learn some things too.

8.      At the end of the day…er week… I walked away with 39 blogs to add to my Feedly.  That makes a whopping 83 feeds on my account!  Digital overkill, I know.  But how can one ignore potentially good content?

 

Most Conciliatory

Civil Religion a Modest Proposal, Jonathan Storment

When we demonize the other, we rarely have healthy conversations about the issue of disagreement. We divide up the world into right and wrong, and lose the ability to learn and grow from each other.

…

Modesty basically means to not over-estimate ourselves, it is the virtue of knowing and embracing our limitations. We don’t know everything, we don’t know for certain what’s best for the world, and no human should find themselves so certain that they can dehumanize another because they disagree with them.

Most Challenging

3 Tips for Responding to Criticism

Most Personally Relatable

Say Anything, by Allison Vesterfelt

…my answers tend to be clouded by what I fear they will think of me....Maybe our ideas—the real ones—matter for something....If that’s the case, if what I have to say matters, I need to learn to not hold back. ...Because it’s in the sharing, I think, that healing comes, humility comes, growth comes. It’s in the sharing I’m changed, and you’re changed, and a bridge is built between the two of us.

Head Bobber

Where are the People of Color in Children's Books?  by Walter Dean Myers

When I was doing research for my book “Monster,” I approached a white lawyer doing pro bono work in the courts defending poor clients. I said that it must be difficult to get witnesses to court to testify on behalf of an inner-city client, and he replied that getting witnesses was not as difficult as it sometimes appeared on television. “The trouble,” he said, “is to humanize my clients in the eyes of a jury. To make them think of this defendant as a human being and not just one of ‘them.’ ”

I realized that this was exactly what I wanted to do when I wrote about poor inner-city children — to make them human in the eyes of readers and, especially, in their own eyes. I need to make them feel as if they are part of America’s dream, that all the rhetoric is meant for them, and that they are wanted in this country.

Books transmit values. They explore our common humanity. What is the message when some children are not represented in those books? Where are the future white personnel managers going to get their ideas of people of color? Where are the future white loan officers and future white politicians going to get their knowledge of people of color? Where are black children going to get a sense of who they are and what they can be?

And what are the books that are being published about blacks? Joe Morton, the actor who starred in “The Brother From Another Planet,” has said that all but a few motion pictures being made about blacks are about blacks as victims. In them, we are always struggling to overcome either slavery or racism. Book publishing is little better. Black history is usually depicted as folklore about slavery, and then a fast-forward to the civil rights movement. Then I’m told that black children, and boys in particular, don’t read. Small wonder.

Because it Still Matters

The Racial Subtext in Church by Kelsey Munger

"Guys like that [black guys] don't go to church."

 

How could she think that? Why would she think that?

Maybe because when Best Friend looked at the “missionary bulletin board” at her church she could spot the missionaries because they were the only whites in the picture, and the new converts and “assistants in spreading the gospel” could be identified by their brown or black skin tones.

 

Maybe because she’d been to church camps, conferences, her parents had even worked at a bible college, but she had never heard an African-American preacher or bible teacher. There must not be any Christian blacks in America or, if there are, maybe they don’t have anything worth saying.

Maybe because the only brown-skinned children to ever make a guest appearance on one of her friends’ MySpace profile pictures (yes, that’s what we used back then) was a child in a third world country that someone had met while on a mission trip — they were never neighbors, children from one of the Sunday school classes, or a friend’s younger siblings. They were the poor, the unreached.

Maybe because the only pictures of dark-skinned men and women to appear on church promotional material were for advertising a mission trip to Mexico or a fund raiser for the poor — they were never the faces of one of the bible study leaders or an upcoming conference speaker. They were the people in need, the ones we — white Christians — reached out to.

How did Best Friend get to the point where she honestly thought there weren’t any good Christian black men in America? Because she’d grown up in a family, a church, and a community that was not only extremely white, they were extremely disengaged and uninterested in issues related to race.

You The Man

Reframing Biblical Masculinity, Tim Krueger

Several hallmarks of “biblical manhood” look suspiciously like modern, Western, middle-to-upper class rites of passage: employment outside the home, financial independence, marriage, and fatherhood, for instance. Jesus, on the other hand, never married or had children. He abandoned his family business in favor of ministry, becoming financially dependent on others—even women. He could be tough, but he also wept in public. Day after day, he soiled his reputation as a man of God by hanging around the wrong people. In short, Jesus fails spectacularly to live up to the ideals of “biblical manhood.” This, to me, suggests that we might be off track.

 

 

Head Bobbers Thru March 24

Where have I been?  I dunno.  But I'm back!  Still haven't figured out what I want this blog to be about and who I want as my audience.  So goes life.

One Liner
Unknown
An ordinary marriage is simply an overflow of an ordinary relationship with God.

Best App: Kindred

How Any Church Can Increase Their Giving, Justin Lathrop

Consider working with Kindred to increase the giving at your church so you can continue to do ministry.

Most Godly

God Loves Fred, Jonathan Storment

…to fight the monster with the monster’s game plan is to eventually become the monster. To hate Fred Phelps and to claim God does [too] is to invoke his idea of God and just replace the villains. That doesn’t mean that we can’t say certain behaviors are wrong. But If we are Jesus followers than we need to create worlds, where no matter what, whoever you are, we welcome and see the image of God in you. We’re not going to going to label and dismiss you. When we confront you it will not be because the world we have created is too small to deal with your sin, it will be because the world we created is large enough for you still.  We're loud when we disagree and we're silent when the wrong people do the right things.

Keeping It Real

Do We Really Want Community, Micah Bales

If we desire enduring community, we’ll sometimes be required to sacrifice of our own priorities, even deeply felt ones, for the sake of the family, the congregation, and all those other types of committed fellowships that are increasingly disintegrating in our present day. This is a bitter pill for us as members of a culture that glorifies independence, choice, and individual autonomy. The decision to live in real community is a radically counter-cultural one

Youthful Epiphany

Conflict Resolution: Most Importan Skill in the World, Dawson Vosburg, Mission Year

If I talk a big game about loving your enemy in the context of war or capital punishment but don’t give every moment and decision and relationship of my life to that kind of forgiveness, it’s all just a bunch of hot air.

Right On

Reframing Biblical Masculinity, Tim Krueger

In 2010, an Iowa dentist fired his assistant of ten years, because he suddenly found himself sexually attracted to her, which adversely affected his marriage. I heard plenty of people celebrate his commitment to his marriage. Fewer seemed to ask why his marriage vows or his personal lusts were her responsibility. When an adolescent boy gawks at a woman in church, we chastise her for immodesty. When girls and women are raped, we ask, “Why did she put herself in a compromising position?”  When our philosophy is “boys will be boys”, he is simply and innocently a man, but she is a temptress.

And the SIT DOWN AND SHUT UP AWARD goes to:

From the Penthouse of Privilege, The Ghetto Monk

Too often are poor and oppressed people (especially people of color) regarded as threats here in America, while poor and oppressed people in other countries are viewed as victims. This type of perspective is dehumanizing to people here and to people abroad. To overlook the problems here and to focus on issues elsewhere sends the message that poor and oppressed American's problems are either insignificant, unimportant, or non urgent and at the same time it leads to the objectification of the "exotic other." I've seldom come across a mission group or charity organization that submitted to the leadership of indigenous people, rather they import their own ideas and solutions.

Head Bobbers (Wk of Jan 26)

Head Bobbers is my new title for my most interesting reads.  Yep, I changed it.  In keeping with the dance motif of my blog, I figured Head Bobbers works better.  A Head Bobber is anything I hear or read that moves me - you know, make me bob my head like I would with music.

AND... This is the inaugural week of the Sit Down and Shut Up Award.  This gives recognition to a piece of work that deserves nothing but for me to stop and listen.  Because it's that powerful.  It's like a beautiful voice that captivates you, makes you stop for a bit.  Right on.

So what did I bob my head to this week?

SCARY STUFF: Top 25 Oddball Interview Questions
I'm sure employers have a reason, but these make me nervous!

OH THAT'S WHY: Why HR Should Consider Asking Oddball Interview Questions
Interesting, but still makes me nervous!

BEST LINE: Why You Forget that God is Good, Jon Acuff
"Because we forget to stack some rocks during the moments God shows up."

BEST ANALOGY: How not to be a Racist, Bryan Loritts

Horseradish should never be eaten by itself, but when a touch of it is applied to such meats as Lamb, now it takes on a whole new meaning…What Paul understood is that culture by itself is as meaningless as being served a plate of horseradish for dinner, with nothing else.  Culture only finds meaning when submitted to Jesus Christ…Come out of your horseradish.  Engage others who look and think different from you, but do so to the glory of God.  Don’t be ashamed of your culture, but don’t revel in it either- let God sanctify and redeem it.  In the process what you’ll discover is a greater affection for Christ, others, and a greater awareness of who He’s created you to be.

BEST JOURNEY TO CLARITY:  Bootstraps and Safety Nets, Amanda Opelt

Like many Americans, I felt a certain sense of indifference towards poor in America, and there was maybe, buried deep in my subconscious, even a mild contempt.  I had this sneaking suspicion that the poor in my own country couldn't possibly be like the poor I had encountered in India.

…the only way to cultivate effective change in the lives of those in need is to become, yourself, a sort of safety net for them. The resource, the friend, the positive voice, the math tutor, the spiritual mentor they never had. It's complicated, and it can be messy. But Jesus never seemed to mind a mess, and no one he ever healed or scolded or cried for or embraced had a simple story. 

AND THE SIT DOWN AND SHUT UP AWARD GOES TO:
For the Love of Money, Sam Polk (must read full story to see his admirable life change)
There were plenty of injustices out there — rampant poverty, swelling prison populations, a sexual-assault epidemic, an obesity crisis. Not only was I not helping to fix any problems in the world, but I was profiting from them. During the market crash in 2008, I’d made a ton of money by shorting the derivatives of risky companies. As the world crumbled, I profited. I’d seen the crash coming, but instead of trying to help the people it would hurt the most — people who didn’t have a million dollars in the bank — I’d made money off it.

We Want Our Boys Brilliant, Our Girls Gorgeous, Don't We?

Parenting is tough.  Verily, I say to thee, parenting is tough!  It’s enough to deal with the typical food-throwing, floor-peeing, sassy mouthing, neo-narcissistic toddler with whom I have sparse amount of time to mold into responsible, industrious, loving contributors to humanity.  But on top of that, we have the seemingly evasive task of guiding our mixed-race daughters in navigating a culture built on white privilege that marginalizes their appearance, history, and day-to-day experience.  Plus, we follow Jesus, which also requires us to embody values often contrary to the world around us. Yet, along with those three challenges of beloved parenthood, we get to add a fourth – fighting gender bias – that evil sexist undercurrent that complicates our upstream progress.  As a man, I can choose the luxury of “see no evil, hear no evil”.  As a responsible husband, father, Christian, and decent human being, I better see it.  And I want to.  I need to.  I have to.

That is why a recent study highlighting our tendency to regard boys above girls strikes a chord with me. The work in reference is published by Seth Stephens-Davidowitz, an economics Ph.D. candidate at Harvard, who published his research as an op-ed in the New York Times, January 18, 2014.  It ran in the Dallas Morning News under the headline, “Brainy Boys and Fat Girls”.   His study is based on aggregate data from Google search terms.  While not surprising in the least bit, his findings slap me into reality nonetheless.  Here are a few standouts:

• ·       Parents were more likely to ask about sons on every matter related to intelligence, including its absence.  Although girls are more likely to exhibit gifted traits, parents expect the boys to be geniuses.
• ·        What concerns do parents disproportionately have for their daughters?  Primarily, anything related to appearance, despite evidence of boys having a greater tendency to be overweight than girls.
• ·        In general, parents seem more likely to use positive words in questions about sons, such as “tall” instead of “short”, and “happy” instead of the more girl-common descriptor, “depressed”.

As I resume my routine throwing out the Sunday paper, I can’t but hear a muffled question from the recycle bin into which I routinely toss things that I’m done with. 1. Can I simply walk away from the issue that my girls must deal with for the rest of their lives? 2. Would I have even taken the article as seriously had it been authored by a woman? Those are tough questions. My actions, thoughts, and level of tolerance (or intolerance) henceforward will have to provide the answer.

The Juice - Week of Jan 12-18

Most Teachable Moment: Why do Christians lie so much?
"...Christians feel the need to be perfect when they're not, they feel the need to cover up.  To hide what they've done or hide the fact that they're still not the person they wanted to be by now... We create shallow lives that shine on the outside, but crumble on the inside...When I became a Christian, I did not become immune to sin, I became in tune to how desperately I needed grace."

Most Liberating: Sermon from Overland Park Church of Christ
"Freedom is not doing what you want to do.  Freedom is doing what you were designed to do." (I don't know the title, date, or speaker because I'm a bad note taker).

Swift Kick in the Rear: Culture Change at Texas

1. Players will attend all of their classes and sit in the front two rows of all of their classes.  GAs, academic folks, position coaches will be checking constantly now.
2. No headphones in class.  No texting in class.  Sit up and take notes.
3. If a player misses a class, he runs until it hurts.  If he misses two classes, his entire position unit runs.  If he misses three, the position coach runs.  The position coaches don't want to run.
4. No earrings in the football building.  No drugs.  No stealing.  No guns.  Treat women with respect.
5. Players may not live off campus anymore, unless they're a senior who hits certain academic standards. The University will buy out the leases for every player currently living off campus and put them in the athletic dorm.
6. The team will all live together, eat together, suffer together, and hang out together.  They will become a true team and learn to impose accountability on each other.  The cliques are over.
7. There's no time for a rebuild.  "I don't have time for that."  The expectation is that Texas wins now.
8. Players will learn that they would rather practice than milk a minor injury.
9. The focus is on winning and graduating.  Anything extraneous to that is a distraction and will be stamped out or removed.
10. Strong met individually with seniors and key leaders and re-emphasized that the plan is to win now. They can lead the new culture or be run over by it.
11. "I don't want to talk about things.  I'd rather do things.  We just talked.  Now it's time to do."

I Love Me Some Crazy Women!

If you haven’t come to love the plethora of groundbreaking, funny women who have conquered the last few seasons of network television, then you simply hate America!  Just kidding.  But there’s certainly something wrong with you.

I love humor. I love people.  Therefore, I love funny people.  They make me laugh.  They make me think.  They make me pay attention to the nuances of dialogue.  They inspire me to write scripts that will ultimately get rejected by said ladies.  Nonetheless, here’s my current Top 10 list of crazy-butt women whom I find absolutely hilarious, yet intelligent and powerful in their own ways.*

TINA FEY

Tina Fey (30 Rock, now defunct): La Reina.  Writer.  Producer. Actor.  Author of Bossypants.  Too bad I caught on to her show late in its run, but I found it clever and one of the best-written shows ever.  Period.  Definitely top 20.  As the beloved/behated protagonist, Liz Lemon, Fey is quirky, smart, and adeptly rolls through her comedy interwoven with touchy scenarios of race, politics, sexism, and everyone’s favorite – relationships – without the characters losing focus on what’s most important – themselves.

Mindy Kaling (The Mindy Project): witty, loveable, brilliant,

Mindy Kaling

love-obsessed ob/gyn who can’t open her mouth without making me laugh (as long as I can keep up with her frantic pace of speech).  A total screw up.  Love her.

Zoey Deschanel (New Girl): her quirkiness – you either love it or

Zoey Deschanel

hate it.  No in-between.  The look in her eyes tells you she means well whenever she ruins whatever she ruins.

Sherri Shepherd

Sherri Shepherd (no current sitcom, Newlywed Game): this one’s a dark horse (no, not because of her color) because she is really a laid back, genuine, pleasant person with a permanent smile of devilish ooze.  I’d like to see her flee from daytime talk back to the sitcoms!

Kat Dennings (2 Broke Girls): such vulnerable irreverence.  With

Kat Dennings

her, you know what’s coming, but you never know what you’re gonna get.

Melissa McCarthy (Mike & Molly): Once her show got past the obligatory fat jokes, it got wicked funny.  McCarthy possesses a soft

Melissa McCarthy

poise that quickly erupts into wild antics and clever quips that play off quite well against her co-stars.  I think she shows a certain depth, a range not present in many half-hour shows today.

Aisha Tyler

Aisha Tyler (comedienne): first discovered her hosting Talk Soup back when my hair was naturally one color.  Speaking of color, she was the first African-American and female to host Talk Soup as well as appear in a recurring role on Friends.  Nice.  She’s one of those people that I just plain like, but can’t explain why.  Haven’t kept up with her as of late.  I’m sure she’s busy breaking new ground somewhere nearby.

Kristin Chenoweth (GCB, now defunct): a firecracker with a mountain

Kristin Chenoweth

peak soprano voice.  Born for comedy.  She does it all – act, sing, dance.  And I like that she’s a Believer too.

Rebel Wilson (Super Fun Night): Hee-layer-rhee-us!  Wilson came out of nowhere and pulled no punches to hit me in the gut.  Another hopeless romantic,

Rebel Wilson

Wilson pokes hecka fun at herself and her loser gal pals and is probably the bravest person on this list for bucking convention.  She’s not afraid to show off her curves in skirt-ripping “wardrobe malfunctions” without being a size -1.

Wanda Sykes (comedienne): her tone, pace, and delivery suggest a discombobulated know-nothing with a gift for satire. You can’t help but laugh with her… and at her.

Wanda Sykes

Honorable Mention: Xosha Roquemore (The Mindy Project).  The sassy, self-assured nurse comes packed with a knack for entering the room, blowing it up, then slipping outta there.  Stitches for us all.  I would love to see her get more air time.  She’ll be comin’ around the mountain when she comes.

Xosha Roquemore

And as an added bonus…

Best Ensemble Cast: Parks & Recreation  

This is chemistry at its best.  They are like a big dysFUNctional family, but they somehow deliver the goods on what at first seems like a dull premise.

Parks & Rec, led by Amy Poehler (center)

Coming Soon: Funny Dudes!

*This writing recognizes their talent and is not an endorsement of the totality of their shows’ content.  That should go without saying, but I’m just saying.

The Juice - Week of Jan 5-11, 2013

Each week, perhaps each month (depending on how I feel and when I get to it), I am posting my favorite quotes, in no particular order.  I might have read them, heard them, or spoken them (unlikely).  They might be funny.  They might be thoughtful.  They might be weird.  But they fuel me on some level.  Hence, "The Juice".

Christena Cleveland's speech: "Loving Well Across Cultures" 
Talk is from 11/3/2013, but I just found it.  Very insightful Christian social psychologist.
"As a non-group member, I don't think about the variability and diversity within another group."
"On the Day of Pentecost, the Holy Spirit empowered not the outsider to speak the church's language, but the church to speak the world's language."

Mother Theresa:
If you really love one another, you will not be able to avoid making sacrifices.

Henri Nouwen:
What else is anger than the impulsive response to the experience of being deprived.

Florence Littauer, "Words of Kindness, Source of Healing":
Not a direct quote and it aired 12/23/2013 (but I didn't listen 'til today).  She beautifully sums up Ephesians 4:9 rather well in saying that "edifying" and "to minister grace" means "to build up...give a favor like giving a present" with our words.  Our words are to be like silver boxes with bows on top.

Littauer also says "Mother was afraid we'd be humiliated, so she never encouraged us to take risks.... Many die with the music still in them."

Gates Foundation's post "On Miracles and Justice Through Community"
The redefinition of family and responsibility for our fellow human beings is at the very heart of the Kingdom Jesus preached.  He scandalized his listeners by declaring that his mother and brother and sisters were not merely his biological kin, but included all those who did the will of God.  He revolutionized our concept of the "neighbor" whom we are to love as we love ourselves to include not just those who are ethnically, religiously, or geographically close to us, but even those who are our enemies.  Many people were offended by these teachings because they believed that Jesus was devaluing the relationships between parents and children, or between people of the same nation or religion.  Those people didn't understand him.  He was actually telling us that we owe that same level of committed care and compassion to whoever is in need of it, whether they're biologically family or not.

Larry James, "Wendy"
"She resisted shelters, mainly because submitting to their rules and routine would have meant surrendering the last vestige of dignity and self-respect that remained in her life." 

Later, after securing housing of her own, Wendy's daily visits to the streets reveals yet another insight.  "Homeless persons who work out housing, often simply cannot just walk away from their friends no matter how good their personal fortunes may have turned.  Community trumps personal progress on the streets."

Bianca Winfrey, "battle of the bulge [again]..."
"We as Christians tout being honest and vulnerable with our struggles, but mostly in retrospect.  Rarely do we stand up and say, Hey, listen, this is what I'm struggling with right now.  See, it's easy to talk about our issues once we have victory over them.  But what about the pain of being in the middle of it?  Shouldn't we share in or struggles as well as our victory?"


Charlie Strong, newly-hired Head Football Coach, Texas Longhorns
"I don't care if I was the 15th choice, I'm the head coach at the University of Texas."

Ken Sande, "Successfully Managing Family Conflicts"
"What we are to grieve are the murders that take place in 1 John 3:15.  If you hate your brother in your heart, you're a murderer.  And by that definition, every Sunday there's a group people sitting there, glaring at the pastor - some disappointment over what he's done or not done - or the elders, deacons, or someone else - murdering them in their hearts.  AND THAT GRIEVES GOD. [emphasis mine]"

Kate Harris, discussing the language of "Calling"
"Learning to see the heart of God in what it is that we're doing, no matter how ordinary or random it might feel to us.  It's watching for hints about what is the little piece of God's heart that He has set in us as His image-bearer to curate, convene, heal, clarify, or nurture, or establish order. ... The work that God calls us to is often work that heals the wounds in our own souls."

Alison Vesterfelt on missing our calling, "Are You Living Your Plan B Life?" 
What I really wanted to be was a writer, but if you asked me I wouldn’t have told you that. I would have told you I wanted to be a writing teacher. Do you see the connection there? Because I couldn’t conceptualize what it would look like to become a professional writer, I chose to find a way to express my passion and dreams within a life I could conceptualize... Writing teacher was so much easier for me to conceptualize than professional writer.  I didn’t know how to achieve Plan A, so I accepted Plan B instead.