Lies, Darned Lies, and E-Lies

Blown here and there by deceitfulness…Do we really care about truth?

Last month’s Christian Chronicle included a very good op-ed piece from Erik Tryggestad. In it he talks about how we just forward scandalous emails, often paying little mind as to the truthfulness of its content. Read it here: http://www.christianchronicle.org/article2158347~E-mail:_Speak_-_and_forward_-_the_truth_in_love


My favorite quote from his article is:

…I suspect the intent of forwarded e-mail – just like gossip – has little to do with facts. We all bring preexisting biases to what we read. When we find a piece of information that fits our view of the world, we forward it to other, like-minded believers. We take comfort in our preconceptions – even if they have little basis in truth.

Hear. Hear.

It’s a very timely and worthwhile read, especially in today’s politically-charged atmosphere. I find it disturbing how many of us Christians fall into the trap of digesting, believing, and propulgating information that has been twisted and misconstrued by all of the political parties for their own gain. That’s why I am so appreciative of MSN for examining the statements made during the Obama-McCain and Biden-Palin debates, and publishing what the whole truth is. It kept both parties in check.

While Tryggestad’s writing references the current political landscape, I believe the sentiments he expresses easily apply to other segments of life. For example, I can’t count how many times I’ve received email chains from fellow believers forwarding information about a Tommy Hilfiger and Oprah Winfrey incident in which the latter kicks the former off of her show on account of his stating that his clothing line is not meant to be worn by non-whites. Come to find out, Hilfiger has never been a guest on Oprah, and the racial statement never happened. We ought to be ashamed of ourselves.

As with everything, I try to bring my point of view under the authority of scripture. “Speak the truth in love.” “Whatever is lovely, noble, of good report, think on those things.” “Love your enemies. Bless those who persecute you. Do not return evil for evil.” “You are the salt of the earth. If the salt loses its saltiness, of what value is it?”

Stay Salty. The world will thirst, and we’ll serve a cool glass of Living Water.

How Far Should a Role Model Go?

2008 has definitely been a great year of boundary busting. From politics to the Olympics we're seeing ucommon levels of achievement that inspire millions and make them feel like an integral piece of the American fabric.

In the Olympics we cheered swimmer Michael Phelps on to win an unprecedented eight gold medals. Teammate Cullen Jones also received recognition for being yet another of the few African-Americans to win a medal as a swimmer.

Even the crazy world of politics offers us an experience of firsts - presenting an African-American, a female, and two senior citizens. No matter the outcome, history will be made.

A lot of people will look at these accomplishments and revel in how Phelps, Jones, Obama, Palin, McCain, and Biden are role models who show us that we can do it too. While I accept that hopeful sentiment produced in a lot of people, I'm afraid that this whole concept of a role model bothers me at some point.

While there's nothing wrong with my daughter, Chloe, looking at a female and believing that she too can become VP, I desire that she have a stronger internal source of motivation. Instead of saying, "I can do it because I see a ______ "(fill in the blank: multi-racial, youth, black, white, female, etc), I would much rather she say, "I have a dream. I know what I want, so I'm going to go for it. I don't need to see someone who looks like me in order for me to believe I can achieve my goals." I hope her faith in God fuels this confidence. What she can learn from the Olympians and politicians is that they pursued their callings DESPITE the absence of demographically-identical "role models".

Think about it. Why do we as a country still unofficially require demographic proof and validation? Do I really need to see a black person swim in order for me to believe I can do the same? Do we need to doubt a white running back simply because there are very few running backs of his color? This guy could be the next big thing.

To make the point short: It's okay to be the first. It's okay to be the 100th. Just don't feel you have to wait to be the first.

Groove Thang!

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Thrilled to Death with Anhedonia

Anhedonia = the inability to experience pleasure or happiness; emotional numbness and loss of joy due to overstimulation; anti hedonism

It's hard to believe that our quest for excitement can end up leaving us unexcited. Anhedonia contributes to boredom and depression. If you think about it, we spend so much time stimulating ourselves unendingly with computers, cell phones, ipods, blackberries, busyness, and we (I) seem to be tackling some type of deadline-ridden to-do list. Then, to unwind from it all, what do we do? Stimulate ourselves some more! Video games, tv, movies, radio. And we need more and more of it to make ourselves feel better, so it leads us to seek extreme entertainment ala reality tv smackdowns, extreme sports, etc. When it's all over, we're still mentally exhausted and unfulfilled.

Maybe that's what's wrong with me. I feel worn out as if my mind can't rest. And I don't enjoy the things that I normally do: reading, music, dance. Is this a self-diagnosis of anhedonia?

This means it's time to kick the ole pleasure center in back into shape. Here's how to get over anhedonia (with my comments):

1. Limit the amount of excitement
2. Recapture the joy of little things (especially little things without circuits, I might add)
3. Control your adrenaline
4. Enjoy humor
5. Develop gratitude (that's totally biblical there, "In all things give thanks, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." 1 thess 5:18)
6. Learn to be still, relax, and meditate (We reconnect with God in those quiet moments as shown in the scripture)
7. Make space for things that matter; re-connect with people

And here I am on my #1 stimulant-and-killer...the computer...writing this advisory. I'm logging off and enjoying my evening.

For expert info, see Dr. Archibald Hart's book, Thrilled to Death

Nope I haven't read it, but he gave a good radio interview.

My First Father's Day!

It's so unreal! I celebrated my first Father's Day as Chloe's dad. Amy made it special with two beautiful cards, a gift certificate to get a sorely-needed massage, and a new water bottle for me to carry to work!

I wish I had profound thoughts and words to shower upon the masses.
I don't.
Just feelings of thanks and contentment.

Funny thing. I called my dad...
"Hey, dad! Happy Father's Day!"
"Hey, how's Chloe?"
He zooms straight to Chloe! Ha ha. She has definitely taken the front seat.

Church was encouraging too. I stood with the fathers amidst the applause of the people. We then had a special prayer and a powerful reading of Psalm 4. They aired a video clip of kid following his dad around, watching everything he does. Kids do notice. When Chloe is watching me, what will she learn about the way I treat strangers, how I handle conflict and disappointment, how I live with integrity? It really hit home to stop and ponder exactly how crucial my role is in my kids' lives. Humbling.

Kevin's sermon was good too. He said kids tend to adopt their mother's outlook on life; however, when it comes to religion, they tend to model their dad's point of view. That's why Godly fathers are so necessary. I recall another preacher long ago saying that when a father is unchurched, his children (particular boys) are highly likely to become the same way during adolesence. To the contrary, if the entire family is unchurched and the father becomes a Christian, then there's a 90% chance that the rest of the family will follow. Talk about being a leader and giving life to the family!

Last of all, I'm reminded of a song by Phillips, Craig, and Dean.



Lord, I want to be just like You
'Cause he wants to be like me.
I want to be a holy example
For his innocent eyes to see.
Help me be a living Bible, Lord,
That my little boy can read.
I want to be just like You,
'Cause he wants to be like me.

Beware the Credit Card Balance Transfer!

Credit cards are the Devil.

(numbers are hypothetical. insert your own to accurately evaluate the sitchy-ation).

Suppose you have $10,000 on a credit card with a 19.99% interest rate that you desire to transfer to another card in order to pay it off at a lower interest rate.
Your second credit card has a $5000 balance, 9.99% rate, and still enough room to receive a balance transfer. The transfer will be subject to a $150 fee and a 3.99% fixed interest rate.

So you do the transfer. Your second card now appears as follows:

• $5,000 at 9.99%
• $150 at 9.99%
• $10,000 at 3.99%

Now here's the kicker. When you make your monthly payments, the credit card company will apply them to the transferred balance first. So in this scenario, your $10,000 will be the only thing getting paid. The other balances at 9.99% will remain untouched and continue to grow at a compound rate!

Therefore, before you do a balance transfer, do this:

1. Read the fine print
2. Run the numbers on a good online financial calculator, knowing how the payments are applied, so you can see how much you'll pay over the long haul.
3. Transfer to a card without a balance if you can.

And, last of all: GET RID OF ALL CREDIT DEBT! NEVER BORROW AGAIN.

Why I'm An Independent, Part One

Yet another election year is upon us. I find the unending campaigning and mudslinging disheartening. I find the complexity of issues absolutely overwhelming. To make matters worse, I'm not a fan of any of the leading candidates. Come election day, what shall I do? Thankfully, I don't have to answer that right now. There's still five months to decide.

While it's a blessing to have choices in candidates, it's this very blessing that complicates the matter...at least for people like me. (Don't get me wrong, multiple choices is a good thing.) When I look at the candidates, I see pluses and minuses, so much that I remain unconvinced as to who I want to lead my beloved country. Trying to be objective, here's how I see it:

John McCain: perhaps the boldest of them all as he has taken up the fight against the powers that be (corporations, wealthy, etc). That was the past, not sure what he'll do going forward. I think his strength will be a strong military. My concern is that he seems desirous of prolonging a war that I now question (reasons which I won't get into in this entry). He's also known to waffle on the marriage issue. Furthermore, I remember an article about him referring to Vietnamese as "Gooks", then got defensive when questioned about it. Racism is too important an issue to me. I have trouble backing a man who would say such things. And speaking of venomous speech...

Barack Obama: His long-time association with his pastor, Jeremiah Wright, pretty much killed it for me. (In all fairness, Wright does speak some truth about horrendous portions of our nation's past. But I think he crossed the line with the "God damn America" bit.) Sure, Obama calls him a "former" pastor and I totally understand about inconsistencies and conflicting loyalties in all of us. However, why did he wait until now to distance himself. It comes across as reactionary and insincere. My only other major criticism is his lack of commitment to protecting the unborn. I just hope the "abortion reduction" lingo becomes reality as the underlying issues of poverty and economics are addressed. As for Obama's strengths, I think he's a good consensus builder with demonstrated success at building coalitions across party lines. That's desperately needed and is something I want to see more of in the political world. He's also comfortable dealing with matters of faith. It's good to have Christian voices raised on the Left (and all across the political spectrum). Last thing I'll say about him is that I find it deplorable that people tried to use his own name against him, suggesting that he's suspicious for having an Arab name. Having a middle name of Hussein makes him no more dangerous than having the name of Angel or Jesus (hay-soos) makes one godly. People need to calm down. And while we're on names...

Hilary Clinton: we've had her hubby Clinton as our chief before. Now she's running, bringing him along, and both tend to have undendingly scandalous reputations. Yes, as humans they are brilliant, likeable, and have done some good things. However, given the troubles, I don't see her candidacy and possible assent to office in the best interest of our country. Character counts. As for her strengths, I truly think she may be able to bring some desperately-needed health care reform. I don't know exactly where I stand in terms of solution, but she at least gets the issue on the table.

Why I'm An Independent, Part Two

I still haven't said why I'm an independent. Well, not explicitly. This installment may well explain why I'm an Independent (perhaps implicitly).

I really want to say a word to some very important groups of people:

To my fellow Christians:
We are called to be salt and light in this world. We are called to serve, to lift up Christ and He will draw people to Him. I think we honestly do try to be salt and light in its various forms. At the same time, I also feel that we depend too much on laws, government, and self-isolation to carry out the will of God.

Along with that, too many of us give way too much deference to the Republican party (and to the Democrats for that matter). Understandably, Republicans give Christians space to carry out the pro-life agenda, which I believe in. However, I don't think they really care about it to the extent that we do. Reason why, I think they've shown us. For example, Roe v. Wade was passed during Nixon's tenure. Republican. During the thirty-five years since then, we've had approximately twenty-four years' worth of Republican presidential terms and the law still stands (although partial-birth abortion was rightfully banned). In the current election, Rudy Guiliani was a very strong contender for the party's nomination. He is pro-choice. Also, many Republican politicians are members of Republicans For Choice -- a pro-choice movement. All of these occurences speak loudly to me about how Republicans really feel -- other things are more important. Remember, politics is about money and power.

Now to further complicate the matter, what do we think about Democrats for Life? That's the pro-life wing of the Democratic party. Despite them agreeing with what is the paramount issue to many of us, I wonder if most of us would even give them the time of day, simply because of their party affiliation.

Faith leads people in multiple directions. No two individuals interpret and apply the Scriptures alike. That's why, generally speaking, I think it's okay that some of us are on the right, and others are on the left and everywhere in between. There are myriad issues and opinions, all with varying degrees of urgency and passion to Christians everywhere. I liken it to Scripture talking about the body being made of many parts with many a function. I believe we do need Christians all across the political spectrum who put their faith in action. We also need to remember that the world's greatest movements originated with the church. Can you say abolition, civil rights, women's suffrage, Protestant Reformation?

Whether you are conservative or liberal or apolitical is not important to me. Issues are. I see value in that Conservatives uphold lines that shouldn't be crossed: religious freedom, opposition to pornography, family values. Liberals cross lines that shouldn't have been there in the first place: advocating for the poor and disenfranchised. Jesus and the Bible have a lot to say about all of these things. Herein is where my question starts to be answered. My faith currently leads me to identify with no party (not even with the Independent party). And that's okay. Some people's faith leads them to identify with a party. And that's okay. What's not okay is when we start to say that our affiliation is the only one that pleases God and then we tow the party line on everything. Do we really think our party is that perfect? We don't even give our own churches that much credit. Afterall, what is the true Biblical position on campaign finance reform? Gun control? School vouchers? Immigration? Health care? War? Global warming? Pollution? Taxes?

I often ask myself, if Amy or Chloe were diagnosed with a terrible ailment, which party would I support? That depends. I'll support the party/candidate that helps them the best and helps me help them the best, regardless. The well-being of my family trumps all other issues and factions. For that I make no apologies.

Why I'm An Independent, Part Three

To Red Letter Christians:
I agree with and like your overarching philosophy. To paraphraase, we want an Evangelical Christian movement that transcends partisan politics and focuses on the teachings of Christ. In doing so, hold both parties accountable instead of being captive to them.

It comes very close to giving a guy like me a place to go. I lean in so many different directions, depending on the issue. I lean left on gun control; moderate on war and education; and I lean right on the flat tax. As far as "womb to tomb" is concerned, RLC holds a consistent life ethic in that they want to protect the sanctity life from conception to death. I like that. However, when it comes to the death penalty, I wouldn't advocate for it, but I wouldn't oppose its eradication either (and I would contend that convicted murderers remain permanently in jail).

Unfortunately, where RLC breaks down for me is that we Christians still can't agree on how to handle the issues, so we remain divided. Many RLCs come down on the left on most things and have no real representation on the right. Until there's more balance, I'm afraid the RLC movement will not be truly non-partisan, if that's what you aim to be. For that reason, I'm hesitant to join the Red Letter Christian movement.


To my fellow Black folk:
We've got to quit throwing our overwhelming support to the Democratic party. They get well over 80% of our vote. No party should be trusted to this extent. Yes, I realize that there's lots of strong ties going back to the days of FDR and the NewDeal, LBJ and the Civil Rights Acts, and how northern Democrats strongly supported our quest for equality. While I'm at it, even Richard Nixon passed legislation that we deemed beneficial to us. Meanwhile, all along the way, many (primarily southern) Dems and Reps fought us tooth and nail -- or shall I say noose and bullet. Anyway, back to the point. Casting all of our eggs into one basket makes us appear simply monolithic, predictable, and only moved by rhetorical references to slavery and MLK as if history stopped in 1968. Along the way, we've become overly dependent on government programs. And I'm not letting Republicans off the hook. They don't need 80% of our vote either. They skirt over our issues with cliches and fail to tap into the soul of black folk.

That said, I think we still need to work within both parties. We've got to get them to pay attention and convince them that our votes must be earned, not taken for granted, not ignored. We've got the potential for tremendous power here. If we're honest with ourselves, we as a group are conservative on marriage, religion, abortion, immigration, and our bent toward entrepreneurialism -- enough to interest the right wing. Simultaneously, we interest the left wing with our traditional stance on school funding, law enforcement, and health care.

Here comes the most difficult portion of my essay.

The impetus for real change lies within our own need for a cultural shift. Our biggest problem is not racism. It's illegitimacy and fatherlessness -- stuff we control. We know all too well the vicious cycle of absentee dads causing an emotional void in kids that they attempt to fill in antisocial ways. I don't have time here to expand upon this theme, but we know the story. Single parent homes tend to be poorer, depend on public assistance, and have kids who are more likely to repeat the steps of their parents and continue the cycle of poverty and brokenness. And in the midst of it all, the powers that be promote condoms and clean needles. How dumb. Those things don't tackle the root of the problem. (By the way, wealthier non-urban communities are preached abstinence, therapy, rehab. To me the implied message is that we negroes are incapable of self-control. What's worse is that we act as if we accept that idea.).

Not ignoring our unique history in America, I think we can learn a valuable lesson from our Asian neighbors -- make education a priority. Parents, get involved with homework, PTA, parent-teacher conferences. Have high expectations for ourselves and hold ourselves to high standards, including every teacher, principal, and superintendent. Last and most important...We've got strong roots in religion. It's high time we live it vigorously.


My Desire for a Viable Third Party
I would like a third party to really step up and capture independent voters who feel stuck in the middle and have no clear home with either of the major parties. Sure, it would take years to really take root and grow, but I'm willing to participate. My idea of a viable third party (imperfect as it may be) would be strong on defending morality and progressive in handling key social issues. I want to stand up for faith and family. I want to advocate creative solutions for poverty, crime, education (my primary area of concern), taxes, and the environment. I don't want partisan self-righteousness that only sees the good in one's own group and the bad in all others.

Until then, I think the most noble thing I can do is BE these ideals. Living it out is more respectful than talking about it. Living it out is the way to learn and really flesh out my own political vision.

Daddyhood

It's been about 5 good weeks since I've written anything. All of my free time has been going toward baby Chloe, among other things. She's got her own blog and has twice as many posts as I do! What a productive little girl!!!!

Daddyhood is neat. What can I say? Amy and I would love to have more sleep, but everytime we see her, we just can't resist her. Poopy diapers ain't so bad either, I've come to find out.

She still sleeps in the day and parties at night.

Gotta go!

Little Chloe

She's only 6 lbs + some. The 0-3 month infant clothes are too big! I guess we'll have to buy premie outfits. Anyway, she's happy and content. All she does is sleep. The calm before the storm...

Chloe Katherine

CHLOE IS HERE!

I could relive this day again! Mystery. Excitement. Surprise. Peace. Joy. Laughter.

She is Chloe Katherine Davis
6 pounds 13 ounces
18 and 3/4"
chubby cheeks
dark wavy hair
Beautiful
Innocent
Blessed

Kudos to St. David's Medical Center in Austin, Texas. I couldn't have asked for friendlier place to be.

Wonder

Fate smiled

And Destiny laughed as she came to my cradle

Know this child will be able

Laughed as my body she lifted

Know this child will be gited

With love, with patience, and with faith, she'll make her way


"Wonder" is one of my favorite songs. I love the uplifting words. When Natalie Merchant first released it, I knew I'd some day dedicate this to my own girlchild as "one of the wonders of God's own creation." And voila!

Having Character vs Being a Character

My dad once said, "You've got to distinguish between the brotherhood and brothers who ARE hoods." (actually, he said it way more than once. gotta get your point across sometimes.) :-)

And another guy said in Pulp Fiction, "Just because you ARE a character doesn't mean you HAVE character." True.

Sitting in church yesterday as we studied Colossians, I ripped a sheet of paper from my notepad and jotted some thoughts about Chloe's character. Just as the Colossians were to put off their junky "grave" clothes and put on their new "grace" clothes, I'd like to see my Chloe mature into a godly woman, living God's grace. Amy and I must lead this. We also need the help of our family, our friends, our church. Influences are important. The stuff I jotted on that pad had to do with what our families can impart to her.

Given their admirable traits, I hope Chloe will be influenced by her ______:

Mommy's hospitality, good humor, and lack of worry.
Grandpa Willie's industrious efficiency, generosity, and sense of humor.
Grandma Phyllis's spiritual discipline of study, prayer, and teaching.
Uncle Brian's ability to have fun and influence his friends for Christ.
Aunt Monica's gentleness with animals.
Great-Grandmother Olivia's wisdom and faith.
Grandpa Jack's never-met-a-stranger friendliness.
Grandma Katherine's cooking and steady spirit.
Uncle David's selfless generosity and good humor.
Aunt Wendy's kindness and servant heart.
And her Daddy's thoughtfulness and creativity.

She will HAVE character!

Baby First!

Wow. Can't believe we'll be a dad/mom in less than 48 hours. Our child will be a child of many firsts. Our First Child. Her Maternal Grandfather's First Grandchild. Her Uncle David's First Niece. Could she be the world's first baby????

I wonder how Amy would react if I were to say that I'd prefer to be called "Father" instead of "Dad". Or better yet, "Fahh-thah". Hmmm, I'll ask her........She gave me a blank stare, then laughed. Not a ha-ha-that's-funny type of laugh. She thinks I'm crazy. Cool.

Dad.

Baby Baby Baby

It's hard to believe that we're approximately 9-10 days away from gazing upon our child for the first time! My mind continuously churns myriad questions, thoughts, hopes, fears, and wonders.

I wonder what talents God has poured into her.
I can't wait to watch her language skills develop.
Will she love Mexican food like Mommy and Daddy?
Will she spew out guacamole, mushrooms, sweet potatoes, and olives like she ought to?
How will her hair and eyes look?
What type(s) of music will suit her tastes?
Can I teach her to dance and love the arts?
She probably can't help but to have a sense of humor like ours.
Will she learn to be a gracious host and great cook like Amy?
At what age will we walk in front of the church and baptize her as she proclaims Christ her own?
Will she be athletic, or bookish, or artistic, extrovert, introvert, silly, clever, brilliant?
From what university will she earn her doctorate?
What character traits will she cause me to develop?

Of course, these aren't the only questions, and there's a bunch that I don't even know to ask yet.
Yet at the end of the day, I'm excited!

Oh...About the Title

Porque he llamado este blog "Life's Amazing. Dance."?
Why have I named this blog "Life's Amazing. Dance."?

1. Life is amazing. We experience so many amazing blessings in our lifetime. Family togetherness. Awe-inspiring creation. The laughter of a friend. Rolling down a grassy knoll. A smile. A genuine hug. Unexpected rewards. Reconciliation. Reunion. Infantile innocence. The light at the end of the tunnel. The calm after the storm and the inner strength acquired.

2. We should dance. Because of all these amazing things that we experience, we should dance! To dance is to engage life fully. "Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all thy might" saith Scripture. Create. Serve. Love. Give. Work. Even King David "danced before the Lord with all his might". Rejoice. Celebrate. Give thanks. Have faith. Dance (literally).

So when you hear that funky music, jam on it! When the music slows down, adjust your pace. When the music stinks, keep moving. All the while, God the DJ knows where he's taking you. Let Him. Have faith and keep dancing. "He is able to do more than we could ever ask or imagine." And He does. Amazing.

The Atypical Mouse

I've been a typical person when I'd much rather have been atypical. Full of new year's ambition, I created this nifty blog, then my well-intentioned self ignored it for several weeks. Like other people on Jan 1 who say they want to lose weight, change careers, or stop drinking, but have made no progress by Jan 31, I have done the same with respect to this here bloggy blog.

Typical.

Had I been atypical, you'd be seeing 87 pics, 1000 postings, and a streaming video of "Don't Taze Me, Bro!" Whoever said "The best laid plans of mice and men oft go astray" is half wrong. Men procrastinate. Mice lace up their Nike's and just do it! That's why we kill 'em.

So What's This All About?

Why would a guy with so much to do sit here and toy with a silly little weblog? Afterall, one might suggest, I could be doing some result-producing activity like feeding the hungry, curing lymphoma, earning money, making bastard babies, or absorbing reruns of Tila Tequila.

To answer inquiring minds (namely my own), here are 10 reasons why:
9. Why not?
8. I want to say whatever I want to say without using my mouth.
7. Writing is a great creative outlet for me
6. Adventure: I like trying new things
5. Masculinity: A blog is more manly than a diary (although it sorta is a diary)
4. Blogging is cool. It's cool to be cool.
3. I'll figure the rest out later...
2.
1.
0. Legacy: I want some record of my life experiences and observations to pass along

On the Floor

I can't believe I have a blog. What has gotten into me? I felt the music before I heard it. Now it's time to dance!